Saturday, August 02, 2003
(1:40 PM) | Adam Kotsko:
A worthwhile article, and related domestic news
This New York Times editorial by Dave Eggers (requiring a free, one-time registration process to read) is very good. Eggers came of age in the 90s, back when it seemed possible that good things might happen, but he seems to have maintained his idealism more or less intact.
With that out of the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that I've learned a lesson from the two guinea pigs (one of which is pregnant), two hamsters (one of which is pregnant), and large number of mice (one of which recently gave birth) that are infesting our laundry room currently: Why eat my food, when I can shit in it? In addition to the barnyard in the laundry room, we are also maintaining our homeless shelter in the former computer room. That's right: Brett and Tara are staying on through August. So to clarify for everyone, in my house right now, the official residents are four humans (plus one very frequent guest), two cats, and at least ten rodents with more on the way.
There are five areas where we are lacking.
- Birds: I don't believe a bird should be caged, unless the cage is about the size of a three-bedroom duplex. That would make our place a good fit for free-flying birds. If the cats proved incompatible with the birds, we could replace the birds with bats.
- Cold-blooded vertebrates: I think we have a pretty good mix of mammals, but we need more reptiles and amphibians. Kari formerly had a tadpole in the house, but I'm not sure what became of it. Perhaps a lizard of some kind would be in order, or preferably a snake, which would of course sleep in Richard's room. Can snakes be trained to use the litter box? I think it'd be a worthwhile experiment.
- Aquatic vertebrates: Why not get some fish? I would go in for a sea horse, if they turn out to be expensive. I sit there and watch an aquarium screen saver every day at work, so having the real thing would be a nice change.
- Invertebrates: I'm thinking mainly of insects. I have noticed spiders and other similar creatures living in our house on an informal basis, but why not invite them in directly? I'm considering opening the windows and taking out the screens for a start. Perhaps some bees? Maybe we could start a new trend: hornet-keeping.
- Plants: We do have some grass, a couple trees, and several bushes, but at least inside the house, we have some free-loading life forms who take in a lot of oxygen without giving a whole lot back. Plants are unobtrusive, gentle creatures that can also serve to filter the air from a surprising number of pathogens and deadly chemicals. We might consider starting a garden or just planting some outright crops, such as soybeans, in our back yard. The federal agriculture subsidies would be a godsend for our collective of College-Educated White Persons.
More attentive readers might be asking: Why stop there? What about lower forms of life? I assume that we have plenty of bacteria living in various areas of the house, but it is true that we occasionally attempt to wipe them out through a process that I think is called "housecleaning." I suppose that, to be fair, we should invite all our biological brethren, whether multicellular, monocellular, nucleic or non-nucleic, to join in our shared life. To that end, we could cut out cleaning altogether and revel in the rich variety of life-forms that would come to inhabit our small corner of the world.
But in conclusion, even if Brett and Tara would prefer not to continue to stay with us, I'm happy to have them.
Let's have a round of applause for the McElroy-Kotsko Homeless Shelter.
UPDATE: Richard informs me that neither of the hamsters is pregnant. In point of fact, both are male. I did not do an anatomical examination of the animals, and indeed, after reading Gender Trouble by Judith Butler, I am having increasing difficulty distinguishing between the sexes. The hamsters are, however, incredibly fat.
