Wednesday, December 10, 2003
(5:17 PM) | Anonymous:
Dismissive comments about nine Democratic wraith candidates
Last night after my usual late night posting I linked around to some other blogs and caught word that the Democratic candidates for President had a debate. So I linked over to the Washington Post's copy of the transcript and read the whole pathetic thing. Regardless of the nature of my religious posts, I am a staunch leftist and if it weren't for Jesus I would have tried to shot a rich person long ago. Still, these candidates suck and as such I thought you should know just how much they suck. I have complied a list of dismissive comments in list format to aid you in your disdain for the only viable opposition to George W. Bush. Perhaps the most annoying part, they all have titles that they seem to want to go by.
Gen. Wesley Clark - I can't take a man seriously who only wants to talk about terrorism, opposes war, and got an endorsement from the Hipster Handbook. He seems to be just another Clinton Democrat, that is, another smooth-talking sell-out liberal.
Former Governor Howard Dean - Seems to be the big frontrunner and in the debate Koppel repeatedly asked Kerry questions about Dean as if Kerry was his bitch. I don't understand why everyone thinks he is an example of the radical left wing of the Democratic party, just another example of Centrist Clinton tactics. Still, he may win because he mainly wants to focus on the economy.
U.S. Senator John Edwards - This man has the same name as a Puritan. By the looks of his statements he also has the same personality. 'Nuff said.
U.S. Representative Richard Gephardt - A Representative?!? Running for the President?!?! Please!
U.S. Senator John Kerry - To be honest I like this man for one reason; he said "fuck" during an interview with Rolling Stone. But he looks really weird and he is obviously Dean's bitch. My guess, if Dean gets the nomination Kerry will be begging him for the V.P. spot.
U.S. Representative Dennis Kucinich - The fact that this man is actually a Socialist and the one person who stands up for all the issues I care about really makes me like him. The fact that he is really cartoonish when it comes to his looks, his personal life, his chances for election and his name means he is unelectable. This is really too bad. Now if I could do a "What If?" scenario to create the most interesting campaign, I would link this peacenik up with the General and see what would happen, they could call themselves "The Odd Couple Candidate."
U.S. Senator Joe Libererman - This man is a Republican. I am glad Gore stabbed the mother fucker in the back. And his voice! Oi vey!
Former U.S. Senator Carol Moseley Braun - I meet her once, at a military ball that my dad made the whole family go to. She had some nasty ballroom gown on. Besides that, she seems nice but in a grandma sort of way and therefore completely incapable of running the country. Still, she is funny so the debates between her and Bush would be entertaining.
The Reverend Al Sharpton - Just drop the fuck out already!
What pissed me off the most was that no one raised their hand when Koppel asked if they thought Howard Dean could win the election. Come on now! I think Atrios has this right outlook on this subject. Though I don't share his optimisim for the inevitable victory of whoever faces off against Bush, the stupidity of the American people and the mediocrity of the Democratic party kills all optimism in this little Socialist's heart.
With that said, I will vote for whoever gets the nomination as a faithful member of "Vote the Fucking Antichrist out of Office" movement. If that means I have to be a part of Generation Dean, so be it but I will bitch like hell after he is elected becasue that is the way I roll.
