Thursday, April 29, 2004
(10:04 PM) | Anonymous:
Step Back, I Know Who I Am. Raise Up Your Ear, I'll Drop the Style - and Clear.
Perhaps the most entertaining IM I have ever received, minus the one in which a friend told me he was gay, happened moments ago. Picture it, if you will. Innocent Robb Schuneman (take note of the singular N, fair webmaster) sits at his computer, talking with Adam Kotsko and various friends from high school, when demands are made upon him he is unprepared to meet. Not so much unprepared, as uninitiated. Aw, heck, i'll just go LIVEJOURNAL-esque for a moment and post the whole AIM conversation. Prepare.mathmaloney: hi im on line now
mathmaloney: guess who
ChAlkeaTer: John Maloney? (ED. Note, a friend from Olivet I haven't talked to in a very long time)
mathmaloney: not hardly
ChAlkeaTer: hmmm
ChAlkeaTer: do you know John Maloney?
mathmaloney: T.Y.L.E.R!!!!!
mathmaloney: does that help
ChAlkeaTer: Tyler?
ChAlkeaTer: I'm afraid it doesn't really, unless you mean the boy my sister likes? Is this Jennie?
mathmaloney: someone is going to clean my kitchen tonight
ChAlkeaTer: Is her name Jennie?
mathmaloney: I want the trash out too
ChAlkeaTer: haha
ChAlkeaTer: trash night is monday
ChAlkeaTer: it's already been out and back
ChAlkeaTer: and is now collecting
ChAlkeaTer: in anticipation of being put out once again
mathmaloney: its getting a life now
ChAlkeaTer: the trash is getting a life?
mathmaloney: yep
ChAlkeaTer: like..it's becoming sentient and stuff?
ChAlkeaTer: that might suck
ChAlkeaTer: like..it sounds cool in theory and what not
ChAlkeaTer: but I don't think anyone wants thinking trash..too much potential for a bad sci-fi movie.
mathmaloney: it is setting up house keeping under the stove
ChAlkeaTer: that's where the ants are!
ChAlkeaTer: it can't live there, they wouldn't mix well.
ChAlkeaTer: it will simply have to find another place
mathmaloney: ever heard of cohabitate
ChAlkeaTer: Are they a hardcore band?
mathmaloney: i mean it, i want my kitchen cleaned
ChAlkeaTer: where is your kitchen?
mathmaloney: above your room
ChAlkeaTer: there's only the roof above my room
ChAlkeaTer: like
ChAlkeaTer: the kitchen is down the hall
ChAlkeaTer: past the living room
mathmaloney: no a garage is above your room
ChAlkeaTer: no..the garage connects to the kitchen
ChAlkeaTer: you go through the kitchen, turn left..and there's a door that leads to the garage.
ChAlkeaTer: like, honestly, there is but one story to this house
ChAlkeaTer: Scout's honor
mathmaloney: sounds like you know the way to the kitchen
ChAlkeaTer: sadly, yes. It is a trail of tears I have travelled many a time
mathmaloney: go clean it
ChAlkeaTer: why do you care if my kitchen is clean?
mathmaloney: because it is my kitchen as well
ChAlkeaTer: really..
ChAlkeaTer: that's interesting
mathmaloney: you better watch you language when you are talking to your mother
ChAlkeaTer: But..I didn't say anything offensive
ChAlkeaTer: unless "interesting" is offensive
ChAlkeaTer: is this my mother?
mathmaloney: how many moms do you have
ChAlkeaTer: As far as I know, only one
mathmaloney: then it is
mathmaloney: clean the kitchen
ChAlkeaTer: Oh, well..alright. I was planning to do dishes anyway, since the dish washer is broke..but the rest is pretty clean.
ChAlkeaTer: when did you change screen names?
mathmaloney: i never had a screen name
ChAlkeaTer: Sorry momz... I can't go clean your kitchen... I'm busy looking at porn on the internet...
mathmaloney: clean the kitchen!
ChAlkeaTer: I'm afraid you aren't my mother
ChAlkeaTer: I think you might have the wrong screen name for your son
ChAlkeaTer: sorry
ChAlkeaTer: are you there?
ChAlkeaTer: hello?
(10 minutes pass)
mathmaloney: yep
mathmaloney: clean the kitchen
mathmaloney signed off at 9:15:18 PM.
Please don't IM this woman on my behalf, she made an honest mistake. But I love the fact that I was in a situation where I tried to convince her I wasn't lying, and yet her son is likely going to get in trouble tonight when the kitchen isn't cleaned, since he was such a smart alec on the COMPUTER!
Great stuff. Ha.
