Friday, June 25, 2004
(5:20 PM) | Anonymous:
You didn't have a drug problem back then.
I was sitting in Shirley Lingo's office staring at some Thomas Kincade painting waiting for my new boss to come and show me the ropes of this new job. But that comes later. First I was sitting in Shirley Lingo's office, I stared at her name plate. It sat on her desk, it was a boring desk with a fake wood top which matched the name plate. I didn't notice that until now though, first I thought about her name. Her name was Shirley Lingo. Lingo is the word that we use to talk about words that we use in unmixed company, for instance in the pornography industry one would use the terminology double pentetration for a scene involving two men fucking one woman. Shirely we don't use Lingo at work.Thomas Kincade's painting was very beautiful or else surely Ms. Lingo wouldn't hang it in her office. Surely she looks at it everyday when, like that moment I was sitting waiting for my new boss, the phone rings ever thirty seconds. When she looks up at that painting, which hangs to her right and straight in front of me (at all times now), shes reminded that there are more than phone calls in this world; Yes! there are also cottages in beautiful woods where the light from some unknown God hits just right in the lilac trees. I didn't think that when I saw it, I just thought it would be funny if someone painted an ax-murdering walking up to the peaceful cottage. It would be funnier if he was skipping joyfully from rock to rock to cross the peaceful brooke that was placed every so beautiful by some unknown God.
I was staring at Thomas Kincade when Shirely surely got upset with the person on the phone. Shirley just looked up to the painting for solace.
What did it take to get me into that office on that day? I feel so fucking old. So damn old. That means I feel older than I used to feel. In Kindergarten I thought about the future; I was a very disturbed child. I thought about the future, age 15 to be exact and I thought, I do remember, that 15 was surely too old for me and that I would surely die long before I turned 15. Now I was 21 years old and looking at a picture of Thomas Kincade because I needed a job.
Time is being. Being is time. It's the same thing either way you read it but it plays at the limits of language. Shirely Lingo doesn't care about playing at the limits of language, she hasn't thought about her name since she was 12 years old and then she didn't realize that she would be answering phones all day and have a hip problem. Superiority through weakness. Even power is subject to power, time is all-timeful and we can't say it is all powerful because power is subject to time. Just as every Christian is the subject of the state and if they try to overthrow that state they are gnostics. I don't believe in gnosticism anymore, in fact I never did.
Time is being. Being is time. God is [...] fuck I don't know what that means.
I was sitting in Shirley Lingo's office staring at some Thomas Kincade painting waiting for God and I had to wonder what it is I was waiting for.
