Tuesday, August 31, 2004
(11:40 PM) | Anonymous:
More On Nietzsche's Religiosity.
Fraser allows us to see the all-too--adolescent poetry (or perhaps the translation is poor) of the teenager Nietzsche:
I want to know you, Unknown One,
you who have reached deep into my soul,
into my life like the gust of a storm,
you incomprehensible yet related one!
I want to know you, even serve you.
And:
You have called,
Lord, I rush
With circumspection
To the steps of your throne.
Glowing with love,
Your glance shines into
My heart so dearly,
So painfully:
Lord, I come
I was lost,
lurching drunken,
Sunken,
Tossed to hell and torment -
You stood from afar:
Your glance met me often
So ineffably,
So movingly: now I come gladly.
I feel a shudder
From the sin, the
Abyss of night
And dare not look backward.
I cannot leave you -
In the terrible nights
I look at you sadly
And must hold you.
You are so gentle,
Faithful and sincere,
Genuinely earnest,
Dear saviour image for sinners!
Quell my desire -
My feelings and thinking -
To immerse myself, to devote myself
To your love.
This deepens my appreciation for Nietzsche though it is far below what his writing became. It allows me to understand what is so familiar about Nietzsche and likely draws many ex-Evangelicals to his thought: Nietzsche too has experienced what is the equivalent of that same upbringing. He too loved it and cherished it and yet grew to see what ugliness lay within. A more explicit account of his younger faith brings this out more:
In July 1849 Nietzsche's father died when Nietzsche was only five. The family had to move out from their parsonage in Roken and take up residence with Nietzsche's father's family in Naumburg. Nietzsche had to grow up quickly, and in many ways, sought to take up the role left by his father's death. He didn't get on well with children his own age and acted "in many respects just like a miniature adult." His contemporaries nicknamed him the 'little pastor' and school reports speak of a pious and studious boy. At this time Nietzsche was known for his ability to recite passages from scripture and religious songs with great feeling. He was confirmed at seventeen, and despite growing uncertainties, enrolled to study theology at the University of Bonn where he was to win the university preaching prize [emphasis mine].
The once preacher Nietzsche goes on to become only convincing through his writing. In person he is no longer bold enough to preach but reserved and drawn into himself. He is described by Kaufmann as a shy introvert - Penitence for preaching? Perhaps it is unfair to look at these 'confessional' pieces of his childhood but perhaps it is of the utmost importance for those of us who have walked similar paths to understand that aspect before we can begin to read his critique well.
