Sunday, July 03, 2005
(9:07 AM) | Dave Belcher:
4th of July Extravaganza!
So, I'm writing you from Indian Lake Nazarene Camp in Bum-fuck, Michigan (yes, there really is a town called Bum-fuck here...ask Adam). I'm sure some of you readers out there--including our esteemed Herr Kotsko (I think)--grew up going to "church camp" here. Let me tell you...I love it. My wife and I came here for a baby shower that her folks are throwing for us. Little did we know that it would be "Family Festival" weekend at Indian Lake Camp! Rock on! I love families! Especially because of their "values" and "moral consistency"! And not only did we get the chance to have so much fun with a bunch of other Nazarenes, but we get to go to the local church service this morning and "worship" America-style![Update]: Ok...I began writing this post before going to the service. I was sarcastic and just found this whole thing amusing. Now I'm just fucking pissed. It all began when the tabernacle full of people applauded the flag as it was walked down the aisle--bear in mind this is supposed to be a motherfucking church fucking service. How I wish this was the most disturbing part! I'm sure a lot of you if not most of you have experienced many a July 4th service like this one--but I really hadn't...not at all like this. The music guy got up to give his little narrative to connect church-talk to the songs we were about to sing. He quoted Psalm 22...for those of you who aren't into the Bible, this is the psalm that Jesus begins to recite on the cross according to the gospel accounts: "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" Apparently, "we" Americans have suffered greatly....at least "we" are justified in applying this cry for liberation to the "(founding) fathers" who were grossly oppressed by the British. But--luckily--God was there to hear and answer "our" cry for anguish, and to grant us with FREEDOM (read, word that means nothing but sounds like something). I'm reminded of Stephen Colbert from the Daily Show during "Justice Sunday," who referred to how "we"--meaning the Right Wing Christians--have been so oppressed by the liberals (dare we say "secular fundamentalists"?) who won't stop fillibustering us! Damn those leftists! They actually fucking try to care about people! But that could ruin my pension!
But, even so, this was not the most disturbing part. I was most disturbed when the children's choir took stage to sing a couple of familiar tunes. The first one (unfamiliar) was called "We are the United States of America"--it had some line about how we care for our neighbors and open up our arms as often as we can to them...yeah, if by open our arms you mean our heavy weapons artillery! I was so fucking infuriated that these 5-8 year olds were being brain-washed at such an early age to believe that the "freedom" that America apparently affords to the entire fucking world is equivalent to the freedom Christians receive in Christ. I just felt dirty all over. Not only was I standing in the midst of what is probably the most idolatrous moment I have ever experienced, but I couldn't even smile at the little five year old trying to sing a solo because of how badly I felt for her. It is times like these when I know for sure that Adam is abso-fucking-lutely right. The Church can be a real bitch-hole some time. How in the fuck am I a member of such a one as this? The answer is that I probably won't be for long. If it wasn't for the most amazing pastor of my local church who actually believes in churches being exactly like the communities in Acts 4-5, then I would probably become Catholic....right now. Fuck!
Oh, and two p.s.'s: P.S. (1): It also makes me really fucking mad that these assholes not only hereticize (yes, I made up another word) the gospel, but don't fucking understand fucking anything about American fucking history or fucking goddam fucking democracy. P.S. (2...what is that, P.P.S.?): Isn't the one thing that's supposed to be the most "normal" thing about July 4th the most disturbing: fireworks? As I heard fireworks going off last night, I was thinking...we shoot off fireworks to commemorate a war....and we reenact the "bombs bursting in air"! Wow. That's cool. Sorry for the sarcasm and all the fucks....but not to the Nazarenes. You need to hear every fuck and please hear it dripping with my rage.
