Sunday, August 21, 2005
(9:15 PM) | Adam Kotsko:
Katie Holmes
I watched Batman Begins this weekend (the best one yet, even better than the first). I became deeply attached, in a very meaningful way, to the female lead in that movie. I always do that -- the scene in Spiderman where Kirsten Dunst is going to be raped was just too much for me. In this case, the bond was even more intense because Batman's love interest pretty closely confirms to my idea of the most attractive possible woman.So after the movie, I didn't watch the credits. I went home and was talking to my sister and asked who that actress was -- and she said, "Katie Holmes?" I was livid. "That's Katie Holmes?! Maybe I should start walking around in public acting like a psychopath and then I can get a woman like that, too!" She is apparently Scientologist, which is a stupid thing to be. I don't care if every Scientologist in the entire world comes to this blog and says, "Adam you're such a fucking hypocrit I thought you wanted equality of religions but then you insult mine" -- if you are a Scientologist, you should stop. It's a stupid religion. At least become something that makes sense, like a Mormon.
The worst thing is that I recently found out that Beck is a Scientologist, too. It's spreading. I'm glad I'm not rich or famous, because I've never even been solicited. I do get some pretty frequent visits from the Jehovah's Witnesses, whom I hate. Again, comment all you want, Jehovah's Wintesses -- I hate your religion, and I hate each and every one of you, individually (except for those of you I've actually met in person)!
Everyone: stop being part of stupid religions! Especially if you're hot! And while I'm at it: no more serial killer movies! Why do we have to devote millions of dollars to showing every exquisite detail of some sick fuck who ritualisitically victimizes women? Stop. In fact, Hollywood, let's cut a deal here -- you stop making serial killer movies, and I'll become a Scientologist.
