Saturday, March 18, 2006
(6:24 PM) | Adam Kotsko:
The Reason Jesus Hasn't Come Back Yet
Around the turn of the century, many biblical scholars, led by Johannes Weiss, claimed that the historical Jesus expected the parousia to come in a very short time. Since that did not occur, Jesus was mistaken in his expectation, and theology must come to terms with that.While such a theory has much to recommend it, it neglects a simple fact: after his resurrection, Jesus was fully capable of bringing about the parousia at his leisure. His mistake was not so much in the timing of the parousia as in his ignorance of basic physical laws. Simply put, at the time of his ascension, Jesus did not realize what is now taken for granted: namely, that above the earth's atmosphere, one does not find "heaven" as traditionally conceived, but rather the vast expanses of outer space.
Nor, we might suppose, was Christ fully acquainted with the workings of the resurrection body. While he showed himself to be quite adept at the various tricks the resurrection body could perform within the created world (changing his appearance, walking through walls, etc.), he was apparently ignorant of the way to enter the heavenly realm. Typically stubborn man that he was, he refused to ask the angels for directions. Determined that he knew how to get there -- after all, he had been there before and in fact used to live there -- Jesus ascended vertically, expecting to find "heaven" above the "firmament" of the sky.
From this crucial miscalculation follows the most horrible tragedy in the history of the cosmos. Expecting to find his heavenly home in a region physically contiguous with the earth's atmosphere, Christ was not emotionally prepared for the vast emptiness of outer space. Already traumatized by the experience of crucifixion and death, he assumed the worst: God the Father really had foresaken him, sending him on a wild goose chase on earth in order to buy enough time to pack up heaven and move before he got back.
Too proud to go back to earth without the full complement of the heavenly hosts, Christ gave in to despair. Thus he has been drifting in space for the past 2000 years in a catatonic state. The angels have thus far been unsuccessful in bringing the old Jesus back since his psychotic break, and the Holy Spirit refuses to have anything to do with him, angry about having "gone to all the trouble of raising him from the dead -- for what?!"
Thus, no parousia appears to be forthcoming. To my mind, this situation really underlines the importance of basic scientific literacy.
