Tuesday, April 11, 2006
(12:06 AM) | Anonymous:
Tuesday Hatred: suffer your passion to grow upon you
I hate the rain. Rain is no good for anything.I hate several things involving bicycles. I hate that I see so many people riding around who manifestly have no idea when to change gears, and to whom it may never have occurred that the different gears are useful in different situations, and have not just been put on their bikes to weigh them down. I also hate being caught behind people who are biking too slowly (which means, slower than I am biking at that moment). This also applies to walking: what is it with pedestrians who think that they can proceed at a leisurely pace? What, exactly, is the idea here? Get the fuck out of my way! Here's something else I hate: these bikes, these bikes I see, that haven't been tended to in all their born days, with chains that go "squeak squeak squeak" all day long. Have some pride, owners of these bikes! And don't even get me started on people who bike on the wrong sidewalks! WRONG WAY, ASSHOLE! The preceding sentence is one I have to restrain myself from saying aloud to these persons as I (going in the correct direction) pass them. Now, I'm not exactly Pedal McBikeride, but cripes. (Cripes!)
I saw someone dicing an onion with a paring knife the other day. (What's more, it was my paring knife!) A paring knife is manifestly not the right knife with which to dice an onion, or to slice celery—something else I saw the very same bat-person do with the very same bat-knife (at the very same, or at least a closely following, bat-time in the very same bat-kitchen!). I hate witnessing an otherwise fine person fall so far from knife-wielding excellence.
I hate the locution "the reason is because". No! The reason is that, bitch! I hate myself for having inadvertently locuted that locution the other day.
I hate this sneaking suspicion I have that something's not quite right with the leadership of this country, but I'm having trouble articulating just what I think is going wrong.
Finally, I hate Adam Kotsko. What's up with this "teaching yourself languages" shit? You're making
