Wednesday, November 08, 2006
(10:39 AM) | F. Winston Codpiece III:
The Democratic Agenda
With the Democrats in charge of the House and perhaps also the Senate, things are sure to change radically in our country. Although we have all by now read the official agenda, my inside sources have given me a copy of their true plans, which were closely guarded before the elections:- An all-gay military -- gays have suffered discrimination in the armed forces for far too long; now it's time for the straights to get a taste of their own medicine. It worked for the ancient Greeks!
- Forced impregnation, abortion for all women starting at age 12 -- Democrats love abortion and want to spread this wonderful experience to as many of our nation's young women as possible.
- Free health care for Osama bin Laden -- using American medical technology, the best in the world, to keep his kidney problems under control will allow him to concentrate fully on his duties as Absolute Ruler of the United States.
- Destruction of the family -- all children will be taken from their parents and raised in government-run schools, where they will be encouraged to engage in promiscuous sex, in imitation of their cousins, the bonobos.
- Outlawing the Bible -- no one actually reads the fucking thing anyway.
- Some other evil thing to be determined -- this is kind of a place holder to bring the total up to six, to match the public version
