Tuesday, May 29, 2007
(9:21 AM) | Adam Kotsko:
Tuesday Hatred: Non-Hate Edition
I have reached a low point in my life as a hater. Whole classes of petty annoyances have, over time, ceased to bother me. It is only as I sit down to write this that I fully realize the extent of the loss.Most notably, I no longer hate other people's sloppiness or lack of initiative in cleaning. In the past, this has been a subject of distasteful rants, but now I understand that non-cleanliness is not a moral issue. In fact, I hope that I eventually marry someone who is indifferent to housekeeping, because if I was with someone who was similar to me, we would face two obstacles: (1) guilt when the other person does more work and (2) dissatisfaction with the inadequate or unusual way the other person goes about a particular task.
I should probably put this on my online dating profile: in marriage, I am willing to take on all indoor and outdoor chores, with one exception -- cooking dinner. That's right, I'll even cook breakfast and lunch! I'll make you sandwiches and cut them diagonally, if that's what you want. In exchange, all I ask is that we send the kids to boarding school as soon as they're weaned.
I hate that I'm allergic to cats, because I really like them. I hate saving up quarters for laundry. I hate my bank's website in almost every respect.
I hate how badly Stephen Colbert messed up his recent interview with Tom DeLay (which was rerun last night). I hate that I just spent ten minutes searching YouTube for the clip before realizing that YouTube had been cleansed of all Comedy Central programming.
I hate Peter Griffin of TV's Family Guy. A few seasons ago they were set to do the same kind of world-historical shift as The Simpsons once did -- going from Peter to Stewie in much the same way they went from Bart to Homer. Now they focus more and more on Peter as he gets less and less interesting, and more pointlessly offensive -- as in his constant verbal abuse of Meg, which culminated with a rape threat. They need to kill Peter off (at least for one season) and put Brian and Stewie back at the center, or else I'm going to have to find some other way to unwind on Sunday nights. That's right, Seth MacFarlane -- I'm laying down the gauntlet!
