Sunday, August 24, 2003
(11:23 PM) | Anonymous:
Sucky Old Guys Playing Metal: An Intimate Portrait
I just wanted to write a comparatively short note to let the world know that the revolution in suck music is underway.
While biding my time in Michigan, I went with a friend to see A Perfect Circle in concert at Detroit's lovely St. Andrew's Hall. It wasn't until he handed me my ticket, however, that I knew of the full experience I was in for. As it would turn out, it wasn't just Tool Lite I'd be seeing that night, but I'd be getting a venerable carnival of music. Or perhaps better said, a circus. A Pigmy Love Circus.
Before going further I want to make sure one doesn't misunderstand me. Perfect Circle were great, rad, all the hype was met and I immediately bought the cd and have listened many times over since. Pigmy Love Circus, or, PLC, on the other hand, was none of those things.
What they were, was a lot of men in their 40's and 50's by the looks of it, singing all sorts of suck-everything death metal who happened to have the drummer from Tool as their drummer, and thus gained some acclaim. In between each act the lead singer would dress up in a different costume representative of the song. I thought I was at a Carrot Top concert. I wished to God that I was at a Carrot Top concert.
The costumes started off with a "Pioneer" outfit featuring about a 14 inch long bowie knife, with which the lead singer, named "Savage," kept motioning with in the most B-Movie movements I have ever seen. The next song involved a cave man's outfit, and a big long bone which the lead singer used to act like he was hitting various band members. Again, it was the worst "fake hitting" I've ever seen. There was a military outfit with a rifle and several others, but the highlight was when he put on what looked like some brown tent canvas, some bear claws, and a bird mask complete with a long beak, and flailed about as "The Swamp Creature." My word yes, The Swamp Creature. The audience had enough and began to actually laugh out loud. The lead singer's retort was simply "Don't laugh at the Swamp Creature! The Swamp Creature has feelings too!" before proceeding to sing the song about how we are all The Swamp Creature and demonstrated this with a flailing, wailing, interprative dance.
What's worse was the music, which was far louder than need be and consisted of 1 note being played at random times by the bass player while the guitarist just seemed like a 4th grader imitating Marty McFly's performance of "Johnny B. Good" On top of it all came the "scary growl" of "Savage." Again, the lead singer called himself "Savage."
My ears still have a low ringing sound in them that bothers me to no end when ever I am in a noiseless area, such as in my bed, every night, when I try to sleep. Please, even when they are with a fine band like A Perfect Circle...no one go see Pigmy Love Circus. You'll only do harm to yourself and to the world as a whole through buying that ticket and encouraging them. If you would beat them with a lead pipe until death, their last moans and groanings would be insurmountably better than any live show they have ever played.
