Thursday, August 28, 2003
(6:56 PM) | Adam Kotsko:
"We need it, though."
A few points:
- Was there a law passed in 1862 that says that every time someone complains about the rain, someone else has to say, "We need it, though"? It doesn't matter who the conversation is taking place between -- the respondant could just as well be a homeless vagrant or the president of the United States, and the result would be identical. (No, it hasn't rained in a while, but I washed my car and figured that therefore it would rain soon enough.)
- I can't find my fingernail clippers, and it pisses me off. People are free to use my stuff, but it really helps me if they put it in a place where I can find it afterward, because obviously if I can't find it, it's useless to me. And what do we call it when someone denies the rightful owner of the use of his property without his permission? That's right: stealing. If you take my stuff and then go beyond the tacit agreement for the length of time to use it (i.e., "Can I use your fingernail clippers?" means essentially "Can I use them long enough to clip my nails?"), then you have stolen my property, you are in a state of mortal sin, and you are in danger of hellfire until you make good the wrong by returning my fingernail clippers and receiving the sacrament of penance.
- Oh, never mind. I found them.
- Still, living in a house with five people makes things difficult to find at times, especially when none of my roommates is as neurotic about neatness as I am. One commonly lost item is the "good" phone book, the one that is centered around Bradley and Bourbonnais rather than the vast wasteland of Watseka. So the last time I found it, I decided to take actions into my own hands -- I put it under the corner of Brett and Tara's bed (a.k.a. their air mattress). Now, whenever I need that phone book, I will know exactly where it is, because no one else is likely to find it there and move it.
- I realize that I just ruined the whole point of this, because when any of my roommates read this, they're likely to remove the phone book from its hiding place in disgust. But what's the point of a joke that no one will ever "get"? And in any case, when I decided to put it there, I explicitly told Kari that I was doing so, and she watched me do it. I suppose the point was the "lesson" -- boy, when they couldn't find the phone book, they'd sure "learn their lesson" about leaving stuff all over the place!
- I am difficult to live with in exactly the opposite way that slobs are difficult to live with. I'll admit that. It's just another case of forcing the idiosyncracies of my upbringing onto everyone around me, even if people like me tend to strike a pose of righteousness.
Okay, I'm going to clip my fingernails now, then I'm going to clip my toenails with the fingernail clipper, because my toenail clippers have been lost for several months now. I'll probably have to take the hit for that one. Maybe I'll put a pair of toenail clippers on my Amazon wish list. I mean, all the other "cool" bloggers beg for money, so the least I could get was some grooming products out of this blogging deal.
