(9:44 AM) | Adam Kotsko:

Back in Black

Let's give a round of applause to Robb, for keeping the site up to date in my absense. The trip to New York was good, providing me with an overdose of great art and theological discussion. The drive gave me ample time to consider what to write here. Thus, I have some bullet points:

• Did you know that in the book of Malachi, God himself actually says, in the first person, "I hate divorce"? Jesus also either absolutely prohibits or severely constrains divorce, depending on which gospel you read. That's more than we find for certain other behaviors it is fashionable to condemn in our day and age. In keeping with good Christian piety, then, I propose that groups of Chrisitan thugs begin looking for known divorced persons, or for those whom they suspect are divorced, and beating the hell out of them, all the while pointing out, "God hates divorce, [divorcer -- we have to come up with a one-syllable epithet for this]! Read a Bible!"
  
• The reason that this doesn't happen is that the evangelical community is full of people who divorce, unlike people who are homosexual or who get abortions or who do drugs or who watch dirty movies. I know it's obvious, and it's probably "human nature" or whatever cliche we can use to excuse it, but I do remember Jesus mentioning something about taking the plank out of your own eye. At the very least, that would make their moral exhortations more convincing.
  
• If you're ever thinking of driving to the east coast from around Chicago, don't. You can fly for cheaper, and your spine will thank you.
  
• On the way back from New York, I would try to search for radio stations with the "seek" button, and it would just complete the circle twice and stop back on the one I started from. I started to wonder what the deal was, since I had gotten plenty of stations on the way out, but then I realized that someone had stolen my antenna. I didn't realize that there was this big black market trade in antennas. In all likelihood, the thief stole it strictly for the hell of it, which is worse in my opinion.
  
• Sure, you're an REM fan -- we all are. But have you listened to New Adventures in Hi-Fi? Coming just after their "second career" of total radio dominance came to a close, this album is probably their most unsung, but it is by far the best of their later work. I know it's like six years old, but these things are important.
  
• I think it's time that someone finally paid tribute to all those workaday radio rock bands, the bands that never reach the level of real critical acclaim or total radio saturation, but still manage to put out solid singles that keep the radio from sucking entirely. To the Foo Fighters, I say, thank you. During those dark years from 1997 on, when rock radio started abjectly sucking, you were my beacon of hope. I might have given up on rock entirely if not for your single "Everlong." To Tool, I say, thank you. Your art rock with a twist of sexual perversion and militant atheism brought passion back to the radio. Also, Maynard, when you started up A Perfect Circle, you only helped your standing in my heart. To the Red Hot Chili Peppers, I say, thank you, but could you please write a new song? You've been releasing variations on "Scar Tissue" for a good three years. To Incubus, I say, thank you. Even though I don't like you guys enough to ever consider buying an album, I have to say that I usually don't change the channel when your stuff comes on. Also, the line where you say you're watching a documentary on spontaneous human combustion and say, "Man, I can relate" is pretty funny. And finally, to Limp Bizkit, I say, thanks a lot for spawning the worst genre in the history of music, bastards!
  
• I wake up at 8:00 central time every day, without fail, no matter what happened the night before or where I am. I was up until 2:30 last night because I couldn't fall right asleep after driving so much, but I woke up at 8:00 today like nothing had happened. This has also taken place in much more extreme situations. My grandpa had this same kind of problem when he retired, except for him it was absurdly early in the morning. 6 AM was sleeping in to him. It took him a year or so to break the habit and become a normal, lazy person. And with this, I've left the realm of the interesting. Posting for posting's sake is probably not a good idea.

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