Tuesday, January 10, 2006
(8:13 AM) | Adam Kotsko:
Tuesday Hatred: My Stapler
I hate that my cheap stapler cannot handle documents of more than twenty pages. I hate attempting to staple something, to then find that only the very tips of the staple's prongs have penetrated the paper, leaving a twisted mass of staple on top. I hate it when it does go in correctly but doesn't go all the way through, meaning I have to staple from the back as well. And to conclude the stapler-hating, I hate it when I document stapled in the front and in the back splits into two pieces as I attempt to read it.I hate buying printer ink. I hate that there's no direct way to change the default paste behavior in Microsoft Office programs (though you can certainly write a macro and remap the keyboard shortcuts). I hate PDF documents that won't allow you to copy and paste. I hate how slow my computer gets when I'm running Word, Excel, Firefox, Acrobat, and iTunes all at once.
I hate the restaurant name "Carl's Jr." (I don't hate the restaurant itself, having never eaten there.) Wouldn't "Carl Jr.'s" make more sense? It's kind of similar to "Johns Hopkins University" -- what? "Johns"? I hate commercials that have the first stage of American Idol auditions on them, because I hate when people sing "like that" a capella. I find it awkward to be in the same room with someone who is singing "like that," and that apparently extends to the TV as well. I hate the new reality show trend of pairing up professionals at something with untrained celebrities, though I am glad that Dave Coulier of TV's Full House and America's Funniest People has found a way to start picking up the pieces of his shattered career.
I interrupt my regularly-scheduled hatred to bring you these links: If you want something to read, you might try this article by Gopal Balakrishanan (incidentally, the document mentioned in the first paragraph) or else this post by Adam Roberts on literature and mass murder, the first of a string of guest posts at The Valve. I also learn via Jodi Dean that anonymously annoying people on the Internet is illegal. (I know we're all thinking of the same person here, but let's not invoke his, her, or its name.)
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled hatred: I hate how much Sid and Pippin were throwing up yesterday. (Maizie apparently never throws up -- she just sleeps behind the toilet sometimes.)
I hate being indecisive, but I also hate being prematurely too decisive.
There you have it. Now show some hate, then show some love.
