(12:42 AM) | Anonymous:

Tuesday Hatred: Scrub me 'til I shine in the dark

I lost my watch in New York City, and I hate that. However, I love saying "I lost my watch in New York City".

I hate it when I want to attend a concert, and it has a certain publicized starting time, and actually no one involved in the administration or performance of the concert has any intention of starting at that time. In particular, I hate Brooklyn Fire Proof, where I sat for forty minutes, having arrived at the correct time, and immediately divined that not only was everyone there a friend of the organizers, but the first band weren't halfway through setting up. The guitarist was still fixing his guitar, in fact. Then, they all left to get food. Noise concerts (from what I understand) don't suffer from this problem; nor do many jazz venues. Why does it plague smallish rock venues so?

Since it's possible that Time Out published the incorrect start time, I'll just be safe and say I hate it too.

I hate the use of "think" as a transitive, prepositionless verb. The following constructions are not hateful: "think over/on/of/about something" (or "think something of/about something"; "think something up"); "think something up"; think [that] something is …", and no doubt more. But simply "to think something" is, quite simply, odious. I'm uncertain whether "to think noun" is more, or less, hateful than "to think the adjectival", but I'm leaning towards less. The construction seems predicated on the idea that thinking about something has the power to transform it, and this presumption positively ENRAGES me. With HATE.

I also hate the way the entrances and exits to my apartment complex are arranged, such that it takes an extraordinarily complex route if one simply wants to leave and go to the left, involving traveling all the way around the back of the complex, exiting and turning right, then making a U-turn. I hate the person who designed this incredibly annoying and shitty system.

I hate having a class at 9:30am two days a week, and I hate myself for wanting to audit or possibly take for credit another one that meets at 9am on a different day. I just know that that second class was scheduled so that some people would decide against taking it on scheduling grounds, since it's being taught by Franco Moretti who probably doesn't want hordes descending upon him.

American citrus-flavored sodas—these too are not free from being hated by me. Even Hansen's Key Lime soda doesn't taste a damn thing like limes, and Hansen's is normally not sucky. I remember the glories of Fanta in Greece, where the lemon and orange sodas actually tasted lemony and orangey, probably because they contained significant amounts of lemon and orange juices. And then there was bitter lemon soda… America's soda manufacturers should be ashamed. Even American Fanta blows.

I hate that I can't seem to figure out how to schedule the posting of posts, with the possible result that this will appear to have been published on Monday. I swear I waited until it was Tuesday Chicago time.

Tradition demands that I exhort you all to show your love.

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