Tuesday, February 27, 2007
(10:11 AM) | Claire:
Where Are the Womyn of the Weblog?Per Winston's sage advice, I'm writing this post from the perspective of a sea otter. - Claire
As I float on my back, I think about an ongoing problem at the Weblog. Except for Claire, there seems to be quite a lack of female posters. Why don't more womyn post here? In confidence, some womyn have said that they were turned off by the discussions of preferences in female pubic hair styles. Well, if anyone told me to shave my hair off, or just leave a landing strip, I'd crack his head open on my tummy. Shaving my hair would be a death sentence and an affront to my identity as a sea otter. Ladies, these guys have no say in how you should style your down there hair. I say, keep it, be proud-- heck, write a post about your massive bush. Just don't be silent and let the good ol' Weblog boys engage in a female pubic hair discourse without hearing your opinion on the matter. Second, I've heard from some womyn who aren't students of theology of philosophy that feel they have nothing to contribute to this site. OK, all I really have to talk about is floating on my back, cracking an especially large abalone on my tummy, the trials of having my nose bitten while mating, and the sweet satisfaction of slumbering, anchored in a forest of kelp. Does that have anything to do with philosophy or theology? No, but everyone can relate to the universal themes of food, sex and relaxation. Your comments needn't be earth-shattering or clever (save those for Unfogged). Just speak to the human experience and the readers are sure to respond positively. Lastly, I hope I can be an example to the would-be woman posters of the Weblog. If the men-folk can relate to and engage with posts by a non-verbal marine mammal, they are sure to connect much more with a post by a fellow human. Once you widen your focus to the entire animal kingdom, gender becomes an irrelevant difference between beings.
I hate that only one person has taken advantage of the free cognitive-behavioral therapy I'm offering on my blog.
I hate that at Whole Foods, elderly people stand in front of the samples for an hour and cockblock my attempts to get a free snack.
I hate that the psychotic nurse-case manager from a local mental hospital calls, and before I can say anything, screams, "Who's available to do a live commercial!!??"
I hate that I have an interview today and I still haven't perfected my answer to, "Why do you want to leave your current job?" (I'm taking suggestions for answers from anyone experienced in hiring.)
I hate that I am extremely nervous about a telephone interview.
I hate that I cannot list all of you as references.
I hate that there is no place on a resume for blog experience.
I hate that every time a call goes to voicemail, the caller angrily demands to speak to "a LIVE person" as if I had previously transferred them to one of the deceased.
I hate that callers continue to insist that my co-worker, Joe, is a woman.
I hate that it seems trite to name things truly worthy of hate, like the impending climate change apocalypse or the possible strike against Iran.
If this has all been just too much for you, I suggest you visit Richard and friends.