Friday, June 08, 2007
(10:34 AM) | Brad:
Friday Confession
I confess that I called the cops on a Pentecostal church across the street because they were being too loud, at 12.30 at night. I confess that this pleased me immensely. I confess that said Pentecostal church has become my recent obsession. I've become like Jimmie Stewart in Rear Window, watching and documenting the bizarre comings and goings of parishioners and worship services conducted at seemingly random times. I confess that, despite my persistent pleas, my wife refuses to play the role of Grace Kelly.I confess that I did not call the cops on the guy busting out a SUV's window at the nearby BART station. Partly due to fear that the blunt object in use against the window could easily be turned against my skull (and the absence of faith in my dog to protect me adequately), and partly due to the momentary lapse in judgment that made me think "Maybe he just forgot his keys," I looked the other way when his eyes caught mine.
I confess that the following online exchange is the truest such exchange ever:
Me: Is there anything more depressing than needing to apply for a job you don't want.I confess that I failed in the simple task of picking up my wife from the airport last night. Apparently, she had told me her arrival time & airline, but when she did so I was both drunk and preoccupied with reading up on a pornographic fetish I'd never of: NMCF [Nude Man, Clothed Female].
Friend: Yes. Not getting the job.
I confess that I've not shaved in over a month, and have not had a haircut in over two. I will do neither until I get a job interview.
And lastly, I confess that I was laughing too hard to reprimand my dog at the park yesterday when she flung her entire body at full speed into the back of a middle-aged lady's knees, sending the mother of two to the ground in a broken heap.
