Tuesday, October 02, 2007
(8:18 PM) | Adam Kotsko:
Traffic Boosting
As many of you know, this blog is no longer in its prime. Traffic has remained stagnant for the last few years, barely keeping pace with inflation. For those still doing that one blog stock market thing that was big a couple years ago and whose workings I never fully understood, The Weblog is truly the US Savings Bond of blogs.Thankfully, I have developed a solution: a gimmick so inventive, so compelling, and ultimately, so deeply true that it speaks to the most profound facets of the human condition.
I am speaking, of course, of using this blog as an ad hoc online dating profile. That's right -- I am trying to find a "partner in crime." Being, at this late date, "tired of the drama," I want someone who shares my deep passion for "music and travel." Never one to fail to "carpere diem," I hope for a woman who has come to terms with the fact that "well-behaved women seldom make history."
So, my many female Chicago readers, e-mail me and we shall "explore the city together." If you just moved to the city and want to "take advantage of what the city has to offer," I'm your man! Lurker, regular commenter, visitor following the inevitable Unfogged link -- no reasonable offers will be refused.
We can go to a "dive bar," though I assure you -- I also know how to be classy when the occasion demands. I promise that I "don't take myself too seriously." I have "passion," but I also "know how to have fun." All of the paradoxical qualities you seek are united in one man: me.
That's right: me, Adam Kotsko, well-known blogger and burgeoning sex symbol. You could get in on the ground floor. Think of it! What do you have to lose? As a reader of this blog, you already know a lot about me, and going on a date would give you access to Exclusive Non-Blog Content. What does my voice sound like? What are my nervous tics? Do I ever wear anything other than plaid button-down shirts? What brand of cologne do I wear? What do I look like live and in 3-D?!
This is one of those rare occasions when the planets align just right, allowing the blogosphere and the biosphere -- all too fleetingly -- to touch. Don't let it pass you by.
