Friday, January 18, 2008
(12:00 AM) | Adam Kotsko:
Friday Afternoon Confessional: Negative PrehensionI confess that I have a perilously small amount of money in my bank account and that this state of affairs will persist until my student loan disbursal early next month. I confess that I am getting too used to being poor -- I don't often experience direct anxiety, but I do sometimes suffer from meta-anxiety about how unanxious I feel. I confess that the main problem in my life isn't so much that I don't have enough money on average, but that I am so often delayed in getting money. I confess that I think that the industry standard practices when it comes to paying freelancers are really unreasonable, but I tolerate it because freelancing seems to fit best with my desired lifestyle.
I confess that I'm enjoying the hermit lifestyle that exam prep requires. I confess that I'm perfectly content assuming that I will have nothing to do in the evenings and therefore planning my Netflix activities to fill the hours when I can no longer read but can't yet go to bed. I confess that I'm finally making concrete progress on remedying my lack of acquaintance with early modern philosophy. I confess that I will probably start feeling social within a few weeks and will be near the brink of despair during the several days between when I start feeling lonely and when I can get my social life moving again.
I confess that self-knowledge doesn't seem to lead to changes in my behavior. On the other hand, self-deception is amazingly effective.
I confess that I religiously check the CTA's bi-monthly slow-zone map. I confess that the super-high Orange Line crossover south of Roosevelt scares me.
I confess that I've fallen into the habit of waking up at 9:30 every day. I confess that I don't really know why this bothers me, but it does -- 8:30 seems like a much better time to get up.