Tuesday, January 08, 2008
(12:00 AM) | Adam Kotsko:
Tuesday Hatred: Sleeping Life
I hate waking up at 4:00 am. I have done so on a fairly regular basis for the past week, as readers of Valve comment threads can attest. I hate that I feel that posting comments is an appropriate way to respond to sleeplessness.I hate the recurring dream I've been having. Around this time last year, I went out on a few dates with a woman I met through online personals. We really hit it off, but she was going through a major shift in her career and I eventually decided to back off and let her decide whether to call me again. She did not, which in my waking life I thought was fine. Apparently my unconscious mind does not think it was fine, however, because within the past two weeks, I've had three or four really long and vivid dreams about her. Most of the time, she goes on a tirade against me for fucking up so badly: I didn't realize what I had, she would've been the one, why wasn't I more aggressive, etc. In one dream, I tried to reason with her. I'd messed up back then, yes, but surely we could start over? I was met with nothing but derision.
Anyway, [name redacted], if you're reading this, I'm sorry I fucked up so badly. Now please stop tormenting me in my sleep!
I hate how stressed out I allow myself to become when working on freelance projects at home. Actually, that applies to a lot of things, chief among them being computer problems. I hate that I can neither afford nor really justify buying a new laptop. The old Kotsko-bot is going strong -- it just needs to be rebooted if I open and close too many programs. Opening Windows Media Player in particular cripples it until the next reboot, for reasons that are unclear to me.
I hate that my Netflix passion is plummeting. The first disc of the first season of The Wire is in the house (on Mike's account -- between us, we can have a hard-hitting five DVDs at any given time), and it'd better be as life-changingly awesome as everyone says it is, or else I'm in danger of becoming a New Yorker-style Netflix subscriber. I suppose I do have several seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm that I haven't seen yet, though.
I hate leaky garbage bags.
