(12:49 PM) | Adam Kotsko:

George W. Bush: The Perfect President?

I've had some difficulty with George W. Bush in the past, and honestly, I'm ashamed to say that some of my posts on the man probably amounted to political hate speech. But this moon thing -- I am seriously speechless. And going to Mars? The man is incredible. He is truly an amazing person.

I think that George W. Bush is the perfect president because he combines all the best aspects of our past great presidents:

• He has the popular appeal of Andrew Jackson. The people obviously love him.
  
• He has the bloodlust of James K. Polk, our eleventh president.
  
• He has the concern for justice and unity of Abraham Lincoln. His plan to grant pseudo-amnesty to immigrant workers is very similar to the Emancipation Proclamation, if you think about it.
  
• He has the "big government" heart of FDR and LBJ. No one has expanded the federal government and especially entitlements quite as much as Dubya.
  
• He has the overarching vision of JFK. He's talking about going to fucking Mars! We'll beat those wily terrorists in the space race for sure!
  
• He has the concern for privacy of Richard Nixon. Virtually no president has been so concerned with the privacy of his cabinent officers.
  
• He has the loving compassion for the rich of Ronald Reagan. In these tough economic times, when it's getting harder and harder to receive millions of dollars a year for sitting on your ass, he is giving the rich a helping hand. Plus, all of the programs mentioned above are funded through tax cuts.
  

With all these wonderful qualities, is it any wonder that conservatives always ask with disgusted incredulity, "What, you think Al Gore would have done a better job?"

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