Wednesday, June 15, 2005
(5:49 PM) | Brad:
A Suggestion [With One Update]
We haven't seen Doug Johnson [Old] around much lately, but I would be remiss if I didn't pass along a suggested tenth thesis for his pro-Torah argument. Namely, the example of '80s rocker, David Lee Roth:Since the dawn of distortion, men have fronted metal bands for simple reasons, like sex, drugs, and the joy of wrecking hotel rooms. David Lee Roth has had of his share of groupies, consumed his share of drugs, and trashed a whole Holiday Inn’s worth of suites. But, throughout his career as lead singer of Van Halen, and now as a solo artist, he’s had another ambition, one a bit more esoteric and a lot less sordid.
He’s on a mission from God. The God of Moses, to be specific. The God—let’s just spell this out here—of the Jews.
[. . .]
As he explained in his 1998 autobiography, Crazy From the Heat, Roth relished every decadent minute of band life, but much of his style and energy came from fury over anti-Semitism and an urge to crush Jewish stereotypes. That might surprise longtime Van Halen fans, who missed the Talmudic side of Roth’s tequila Tarzan persona. But, as Roth explained on the bus, he’s never stopped celebrating the idea of Jewish identity.
"Be different," he urges. "Keep it separate. Every neighborhood’s got something to contribute, so let’s not mash it all together, let’s not shop at Beige R Us. No, I want a bagel in the morning and Chinese food at lunch, and I’d like a Russian to teach me chess, and I want a Mexican to make me tacos. And there should be a black guy on bass."
Roth pauses for a cackle. He cackles a lot—raspily, and for longer than most people cackle. It turns his eyes into maniacal slits.
"Viva la difference, as they say in Israel," he says, lifting his Bud toward the ceiling and cackling again.
I once took a 'What Religion Are You' online quiz and learned that I was a REFORM Jew. [UPDATE: per the editorial nit pick of a commenter, whose 'yeesh' was perhaps Yiddish for 'I'm a picky mofo', I've decided that 'Reformed Jew' would only really be correct if 'Reformed' was not capitalized, and thus more of an adjectival use of the term -- as if a Jewish college roommate were to tell you, 'Yeah, I grew up in a reformed house, and it was fuckin' tits!' (Not that I'ver ever had a college roommate, let alone a Reform Jew with a habit for odd slang.) Considering the context, 'Reformed' in my usage of the term was not adjectival, and thus probably not entirely appropriate. So, yes, for the sake of this blog's credibility as religiously informed and sensitive, I have changed it to REFORM Jew] With David Lee Roth in my corner, just a gigilo that he is, we're gonna rock this world.
