Friday, May 05, 2006
(9:39 AM) | Brad:
Friday Morning Confessional: Kotsko-Laid-Low Edition
Adam has been struck down, in the grand Teutonic fashion, by the Divine with the Disease. So, he's asked me to confess for him. Not, that is, to confess his sins, of which I know none, though I'm sure I could creatively come up with a couple. No, but to confess my own. Here goes:I confess that I do not think Shakira is very hot -- not even in the video when she's splashing around in mud. Relatedly, I confess that prior to my wife, I never dated a woman that other people have reportedly described as "fucking hot." I confess that I married outside my means, and suspect it may have something to do with my wife wanting a green card.
I confess that although I've been suspected of having a drinking problem, I've never gotten drunk on rum & coke. And yet, relatedly, I do confess that I've had whisky & coke for breakfast, while sitting on a toilet.
I confess that I do not especially like my new apartment, near the heart of Cincinnati's worst ghetto, precisely because it is near the heart of Cincinnati's worst ghetto. I confess that I do not care that this hurts my Leftist cred. Relatedly, I confess that upon reading about two men killed in my neighborhood during a gunfight on Monday night, I said to my co-worker, "They live north of Liberty Avenue [about three blocks from me], fuck 'em."
I confess that I didn't remove the used condom my dog found on the street of my ghetto neighborhood and I threw in somebody's open mailbox. Relatedly, I confess that recently I purchased a roll of duct tape & condoms, and didn't understand until I got to my car why the cashier & bagboy were laughing.
I confess that I resort to rhetorical tricks too often in arguments: such as, when stymied by a well-reasoned rebuttal, I respond with, "Yes ... I was just taking that for granted;" or, "Yes, but what I'm saying simply proves that all the more." Relatedly, I confess that this rarely works in said arguments.
I confess that I worry about not getting a job but have yet to find the will to sit down and get the things published that might actually help me get a job. Relatedly, I've really gotten into the NBA Playoffs this year.
I confess that I take some solace in being that guy friends describe to their colleagues as "having so much potential." Relatedly, I'm really hoping Adam becomes a big name.
Consider now the comments your confessional .......
