(12:00 AM) | Olivia Leigh:

Tuesday Hatred: SUPER HATE EDITION!

• I HATE THE UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE. Oh, how I hate them, Weblogians! I moved at the beginning on November, and mail has been spotty at best, non-existent at worst. I finally called USPS today, and was told that my address was entered with a different unit number, and consequently, I am not receiving mail correctly. I hate that all of their possible solutions--call the local branch, call my old building, etc.,--yielded absolutely nothing. I hate thinking that someone is sorting through my bank statements and TIAA-CREF forms. I hate thinking that someone cashed the $2500 in checks that were coming to me this month (plus nearly $2000 more, which thankfully was not sent yet). I hate that they said it will take 7-10 days (!!!) for them to resolve the problem. I hate that my building is so inexplicably numbered (units are E, F, G, and R--and no, there is no garden nor a west for that possible E-ast) that I cannot figure out which neighbor is the one that my mail may be going to. I hate that in lieu of my mail, I have gotten mail addressed to a unit M (which does not exist), an R unit on another floor, as well as F at the next building down. I hate that I will have to probably get a post office box due to my postman's apparent inability to read letters. I hate that there are so many expenses every month.
• I hate Comcast. I know I say it a lot, kids, but I despise them with a loathing I normally only reserve for Campari-soaked olives. I hate that my call today involved me waiting on hold for 15 minutes, followed by a 20 minute conversation that left me so confused that I had to say "Okay. I am so confused now. I think I'll just wait for the bill, and try to figure it out on my own." I hate that the representative accepted this, letting me go on my un-merry way 35 minutes later more confused than ever. I hate that he did not try to resolve my problem when I expressed my frustration. I hate that when I was stuck in the hell-hole known as customer service, I was made to resolve all problems and ensure that the customer was thoroughly happy. I hate the new "hip branding" of Comcast. I hate copy like this, which I typed in their new, "hip," Skittlestilian colours:

  It's fast. It's easy. With Comcast, it's all about you. (And that's cool with us.) You know what makes us happy? Making you happy.

  I hate that Comcast has never ONCE made me happy. I hate that my internet at my new apartment is ricockulously slow, and I hate that when I called Comcast, they told me there was nothing they could do about it. I hate that there are apparently "too many people in my building using the internet," so I just have to deal with paying insane prices for shitty service.
• 
• I hate canker sores. I hate when people don't understand the difference between cold sores and canker sores.
• I hate when people say "cent" when they actually mean "cents."
• I hate when people don't put a comma in a compound sentence.
  
• I hate prissy city dogs that are intensely regimented and scheduled, much like babies.
  
• I hate manipulative friends.
• I hate girls that talk in baby voices.
  
• I hate premature cuddling.
• I hate the pressure of Christmas shopping.
• I hate planning birthdays.
• I hate cold weather.
• I hate South Park.
• I hate Tila Tequila (see photo).
  
• I hate diamonds. I would never agree to marry anyone that proposed with a diamond.
• I hate that the woman at the lingerie store (where they are normally very attentive and watch out for purchase errors) let me purchase a "plus size thong" on accident, despite seeing that all of the other panties were size small and medium.
  
• I hate how expensive quality lingerie is.
  
• I hate having to spend money on new clothes because I lost weight.
  
• And just because I know everyone loves to love the foods I hate, I hate brie.

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